Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence. I Peter 3:15 (RSV)
On Friday I heard the news about the tragic and vicious shooting of nine members of Immanuel African AME church in Charleston, South Carolina. A white visitor to the Wednesday night bible study open fired on black members, killing nine and traumatizing many more. I had been in the Carolinas Wednesday and Thursday for a short business trip - I had never been in that region before. I was awakened at the end of the night by a fleet of emergency vehicles leaving from Charlotte traveling to Shelby. These must have been the emergency vehicles leaving to surround and arrest the shooter. Back home and far away on Friday, while running errands, I listened to news reports about the terrible event. Three times the news replayed the in-court statement of a woman saying she forgave the shooter for killing her mother two days earlier.
I imagine that forgiveness is not what she felt at the time. But she started the process of forgiveness within herself by saying the words out loud and in public. Other church members made similar statements. They gave a clear account for the hope that was in them, and yet they were gentle and reverent. They were prepared, so that on this most tragic and mournful Friday, even in the most stressful and public of situations, with hundreds of cameras in their faces recording every sob, hiccup and tear of grief, they could give an account for the hope that was in them. The media was dumbstruck, not knowing how to describe the strength and presence of these Christians. Reporters understatedly called these statements "gracious." It was in fact a shining display of the church members' own swallowing of the grace of God, the hope within that existed only by the grace of salvation - their deep-daily-lived awareness of their own sinfulness and the great King's forgiveness of their own unpayable debt.(1)
Readers of this blog know that my ex-husband betrayed me with many years of sexual unfaithfulness, and pummeled me with disdainful looks and words until I was cowering and afraid. As a Christ-follower, I know that forgiveness is not optional. But such forgiveness has been elusive and difficult for me. (2)
As I listened to the news, these women witnessed to me directly and powerfully. I couldn't help but tear up each time I heard their public statements of forgiveness. From far across the country, the Holy Spirit was nudging me: if she can say that, then who am I to carry around this sticky residue of non-forgiveness? It is like tar or SuperGlue stuck to my skin that doesn't wash off in the shower - it needs something stronger than my good intentions or my political correctness - it needs the turpentinian cleansing grace of God. The testimony of these women made me realize: I had deceived myself into thinking I was doing fairly well at forgiveness - coughing out mere droplets of gracious civility un-infused by God's grace. After the third time hearing the daughter's testimony, I could say out loud, “I forgive you [ex-husband].” And since then, I have been able to pray for him - only just a little. I am so thankful these AME Christ-followers were ready and able to give an account for their hope!
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(1) Matt. 18: 23-35. The NIV footnotes explain the value of the respective debts. In this explanation, the great King forgives his servant a debt worth 200,000 years of salary; the servant does not forgive another a mere 20 days worth of wages.
(2) The forgiven servant in Matthew 18 is imprisoned and tortured. The final verse of the story is harsh: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
(2) The forgiven servant in Matthew 18 is imprisoned and tortured. The final verse of the story is harsh: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
